The Joy of Connection

The tears spilled out of the corners of my eyes and rolled down my cheeks while I spoke with the owner of the repair shop, and no, it wasn’t about my car. I have been going to this local repair shop off and on for the last 20 years. It isn’t east to find a good car shop and as a woman.. I’ve been taken advantage of more than a few times. But here is different, they are honest and will work with you. Many times when I worked close by they would drop me off and pick me up when my car was ready. The owner and I would chat every once in a while. His wife had Alzheimer’s and he wouldn’t think of putting her in a nursing home.. he said nobody is going to take care of her better than me. He brought her with him to work and I’d see her sitting with her baby doll. That floored me. In a throw away society, he took seriously his vows to his wife and took care of her. He said I’m an old fashioned guy. 

 When we moved closer to another shop it was more convenient to drop our cars off there and walk home.. but the work was sub-par and we knew it. I felt guilty for not giving my business to this local shop and going to a chain. I hadn’t been there in about a year but took a chance and stopped in today thinking with the inclement weather they might be slow. “Oh no, in this weather we ramp up, it starts with the report of bad weather” but he took my number and said he’d call if he could get me in later in the day. He said maybe around 3:30 or 4 and true to his word he called me to bring it in and they would take care of me. It was just an oil change so I figured I’d just take some work with me and wait for it. He took my information and my keys and I sat down. 

When the paperwork was ready I went back up to the counter to sign. I felt the Holy Spirit nudge me to ask.. “Can I ask you a personal question?” “Sure.” “Your wife?” He said she passed away 17 months ago. I was afraid he might say that. He told me it was the hardest thing he ever had to go through. I told him how sorry I was and my tears welled up. As he shared more my heart broke for him. His health suffered and finally when the funeral was over his son insisted he go to the Doctor. He had a few issues but then the doctor told him he’s seen this before, he was suffering from a broken heart. The tears rolled down my cheeks now. We chatted off and on in between customers and phone calls. He shared their history, their love story. It was quite touching really.   

We talked about faith, he shared that he has not always been super religious but that he died, twice, and he said “I can tell you one thing.. this isn’t it.” I was captivated by his story and his willingness to share with a virtual stranger. But we also talked about how upside down the world is right now. I said the world needs less preaching and more witnessing like his love and care for his wife. You’re a good man I said, and if I noticed it I’m sure others did too. I’m far from perfect he said, but who is? He has thoughts that haunt him, things he would have done differently if he weren’t so caught up in the day to day care. But you did your best, what you thought best for her and that’s all that matters. I shared with him that I am in ministry now after being a hairdresser for over forty years. He asked me what compelled me to make that change. I said I guess understanding how good God has been to me, especially in my darkest times when I hit rock bottom I wanted to make sure others knew about him and that he was there for them too. “The good Lord has been good to me too” he shared. 

We talked about his siblings and how different they all were. But he was really close to his mom who raised them on her own. He said he was the favored one but there was a reason for that. After they were all grown sometimes she would call him late at night and he would answer to What are you doing.. only to discover she was in his driveway. She was lonely and he recognized that, invited her in and spent the time with her she needed. His mom taught him how to be a good husband although I’m sure at the time neither one realized it. It was such a genuine, surprising connection. 

 When my car was done I assured him I would pray for him and he thanked me and said it was nice chatting with you. Really nice chatting with you too I replied back. I know from now on I will not take my car anywhere else. I want to give my business to people like him and continue checking in on my friend. 

 I wrote this a few weeks ago and tonight in the midst of last minute running around I felt compelled to stop in and wish my friend a Merry Christmas. It can be a hard time of year, I told him. He was genuinely touched, I could see it in his eyes. We exchanged our holiday plans and he came from behind the counter for a hug. Merry Christmas I told him, and God bless you friend. If you know someone struggling this season, check in on them. They will appreciate it more than you know.