Trustworthy

 

Our presider at Mass gave a beautiful homily this morning on the feast day of the Holy Family. He began that we are all in dysfunctional families, even the Holy family had its challenges and the fact that they were the Holy Family did not exempt them from these struggles. In the context of the readings, in my humble opinion, he missed the opportunity to explain HOW they got through said struggles.  I saw something a little different.. Let me explain.

The second reading was from Hebrews and it states.

Brothers and sisters:
By faith Abraham obeyed when he was called to go out to a place
that he was to receive as an inheritance;
he went out, not knowing where he was to go.
By faith he received power to generate,
even though he was past the normal age
--and Sarah herself was sterile--
for he thought that the one who had made the promise was trustworthy.
So it was that there came forth from one man,
himself as good as dead,
descendants as numerous as the stars in the sky
and as countless as the sands on the seashore.

By faith Abraham, when put to the test, offered up Isaac, 
and he who had received the promises was ready to offer
his only son,
of whom it was said,
“Through Isaac descendants shall bear your name.”
He reasoned that God was able to raise even from the dead,
and he received Isaac back as a symbol.

Did you notice a theme? I know I did!

BY FAITH! That is how we all do it, by thinking, by knowing that the one who made the promise was TRUSTWORTHY, as stated by St. Paul to the Hebrews.

You have to ask yourself if you trust in the God of these promises. If the Old Testament wasn’t enough of an example with time and time again the God of Abraham rescuing his beloved, in the New Testament he brings himself to earth in Jesus. Christianity is the only religion where our God comes to us! To prove he was a man of his word.

So when you are knee deep in dysfunction, our homilist asks us to pray with a few questions. Is this a worldly issue that I am bound up in? And how am I contributing to the problem?

He recommends embracing poverty, both mind body and spirit. Good reflections to be certain.

But that leads us right back to trust. If we do let go of these things, can we be certain of our future? Can we trust in God? It all comes down to trust. Knowing that when we do surrender our loving God is with us, guiding us, providing for us, always with us.  Emmanuel.

 

Mary Undoer of Knots

Over the years as a former beauty professional guests have shared some of their deepest struggles. They intensified through my own faith formation training. Maybe they were always intense, but now I was listening in a new and different way. Maybe truly listening for the very first time, with my heart. They often begin with “I’ve never told this to anyone”, and at that I pause and say Holy Spirit come. I know the pending conversation will need to be guided by his wisdom and grace. One occasion I can share. My guest began, “You’re Catholic, why does this stuff keep happening to me?” Come Holy Spirit indeed. I asked her to share what was going on. Her son had been journeying down a dangerous path of drug addiction with all the trappings and bad decisions that accompany this route. We had prayed often for his safety, his protection, for God to intercede in some way to rescue him. Well she got the answer to prayer, but she did not like the way that it was answered . Her son had been in a car accident with his young son, her grandson, in the car. He went left of center and hit an oncoming car. The woman in the other car was tragically killed. Her son was banged up but ok, and his son suffered a mild concussion but would recover completely. They found narcotics that were not his in the car and arrested him. He was in jail facing drug and vehicular homicide charges. I paused again and asked the Holy Spirit to make haste to help me before I spoke. First of all I began, let’s pray for the repose of the woman who was killed and her family. Ironically she shared with me that the woman had lost a child several years ago and had fallen into a deep depression, praying to be reunited with her. This of course would never, ever justify the horrible turn of events. I did find it ironic though. Again I paused and pondered for a moment. Well, I said, we prayed for him to be safe. Yes, she softly said. Praise God he is safe, your grandson was not injured any more badly than he was. You wanted God to intercede in his struggle with drugs, looks like God answered your prayers. He landed him in a place where all that may happen. Not without this additional cross now to bear and I know not in a way you would have ever chosen for him. At this point she was crying, we both were. You have to ask yourself if you trust God, I said to her. Do you believe in his promises? At the end of the day through albeit a tragic accident and the loss of what I am sure was a precious life, God is still protecting your son. Why him and not the other driver? Only God knows. I asked her to pray to Mary undoer of knots, the mother of us all for wisdom, courage, and strength. Through the months that followed she shared updates on how her son was doing. He was clean and sober for the first time in many, many years. Through our conversations she would share scripture or an uplifting quote that we had talked about in these talks with her son. She discovered he was writing them on a board and sharing with the other inmates in prison. Her struggle with her own belief was being strengthened by trying to strengthen another. And his struggle was strengthening others as well. A beautiful witness to the power of our own prayer and fidelity to a God that is so faithful to us. A great witness to how God can always find a way to have some good come out of a horrible situation. Her son has served his time and is back in society. I wish I could say things are now perfect, he still struggles in life, as we all do, but things are better. I encourage my friend to understand we all have our own journey. My friend has grown so much in her faith journey over the years and I am so proud of the progress she has made. She looks to her faith now and offers up her suffering to God and prays for his help. She has become a prayer warrior, an encourager to others, and inspiration to me and so many others. She has learned to rely on God and not her own understanding. Mary continues to untie many knots she faces in her life. Mary, Undoer of knots, pray for us.

The Joy of Connection

The tears spilled out of the corners of my eyes and rolled down my cheeks while I spoke with the owner of the repair shop, and no, it wasn’t about my car. I have been going to this local repair shop off and on for the last 20 years. It isn’t east to find a good car shop and as a woman.. I’ve been taken advantage of more than a few times. But here is different, they are honest and will work with you. Many times when I worked close by they would drop me off and pick me up when my car was ready. The owner and I would chat every once in a while. His wife had Alzheimer’s and he wouldn’t think of putting her in a nursing home.. he said nobody is going to take care of her better than me. He brought her with him to work and I’d see her sitting with her baby doll. That floored me. In a throw away society, he took seriously his vows to his wife and took care of her. He said I’m an old fashioned guy. 

 When we moved closer to another shop it was more convenient to drop our cars off there and walk home.. but the work was sub-par and we knew it. I felt guilty for not giving my business to this local shop and going to a chain. I hadn’t been there in about a year but took a chance and stopped in today thinking with the inclement weather they might be slow. “Oh no, in this weather we ramp up, it starts with the report of bad weather” but he took my number and said he’d call if he could get me in later in the day. He said maybe around 3:30 or 4 and true to his word he called me to bring it in and they would take care of me. It was just an oil change so I figured I’d just take some work with me and wait for it. He took my information and my keys and I sat down. 

When the paperwork was ready I went back up to the counter to sign. I felt the Holy Spirit nudge me to ask.. “Can I ask you a personal question?” “Sure.” “Your wife?” He said she passed away 17 months ago. I was afraid he might say that. He told me it was the hardest thing he ever had to go through. I told him how sorry I was and my tears welled up. As he shared more my heart broke for him. His health suffered and finally when the funeral was over his son insisted he go to the Doctor. He had a few issues but then the doctor told him he’s seen this before, he was suffering from a broken heart. The tears rolled down my cheeks now. We chatted off and on in between customers and phone calls. He shared their history, their love story. It was quite touching really.   

We talked about faith, he shared that he has not always been super religious but that he died, twice, and he said “I can tell you one thing.. this isn’t it.” I was captivated by his story and his willingness to share with a virtual stranger. But we also talked about how upside down the world is right now. I said the world needs less preaching and more witnessing like his love and care for his wife. You’re a good man I said, and if I noticed it I’m sure others did too. I’m far from perfect he said, but who is? He has thoughts that haunt him, things he would have done differently if he weren’t so caught up in the day to day care. But you did your best, what you thought best for her and that’s all that matters. I shared with him that I am in ministry now after being a hairdresser for over forty years. He asked me what compelled me to make that change. I said I guess understanding how good God has been to me, especially in my darkest times when I hit rock bottom I wanted to make sure others knew about him and that he was there for them too. “The good Lord has been good to me too” he shared. 

We talked about his siblings and how different they all were. But he was really close to his mom who raised them on her own. He said he was the favored one but there was a reason for that. After they were all grown sometimes she would call him late at night and he would answer to What are you doing.. only to discover she was in his driveway. She was lonely and he recognized that, invited her in and spent the time with her she needed. His mom taught him how to be a good husband although I’m sure at the time neither one realized it. It was such a genuine, surprising connection. 

 When my car was done I assured him I would pray for him and he thanked me and said it was nice chatting with you. Really nice chatting with you too I replied back. I know from now on I will not take my car anywhere else. I want to give my business to people like him and continue checking in on my friend. 

 I wrote this a few weeks ago and tonight in the midst of last minute running around I felt compelled to stop in and wish my friend a Merry Christmas. It can be a hard time of year, I told him. He was genuinely touched, I could see it in his eyes. We exchanged our holiday plans and he came from behind the counter for a hug. Merry Christmas I told him, and God bless you friend. If you know someone struggling this season, check in on them. They will appreciate it more than you know.

The Angels Candle

I was pondering this morning at mass about the Advent wreath.. The fourth candle specifically. I wondered if it ever gets jealous of the other candles.. The ones who are lit for the preceding weeks. So many editorial photos of the wreath show the candles near the same height, but in reality our own wreaths look quite different. That last candle standing tall, hovering above the others. I want to share my light too it must think. 

 This year that poor last candle will only be lit for one day, but without it our wreath would not be complete. I have had these thoughts myself perhaps you have too? When do I get to do what others are doing? When do I get to shine ? Why aren’t you using me Lord? This is a good reminder that we are all part of God’s good plan. We must be patient and wait for his divine timing. Last is not necessarily a bad thing. 

Waiting increases our anticipation and strengthens our resolve. The Angels candle, the Peace candle completes the wreath. We know that in his timing we too will complete his mission and shine our light for all to see. To lead all back to him.

Joy

I love being a Mimi. Don’t get me wrong, I loved being a mom too.. but motherhood comes with so many other layers of mothering. So many pressures. Did I say the right thing? Do the right thing? Make the right decision? The best choice? So many pressures. Being a parent is one of the most critical vocations in the world, perhaps the most critical. Fr. Schmiga reminded us of this yesterday in his homily. The very future of our world depends on the raising up of our children. We do our very best and with the grace of God and his Holy Spirit these new humans make their way into the world. With hope and a lot of prayers. 

Their journey is not without challenges and we, the parents wait and patiently watch as they navigate. At the ready with a ride, or a helping hand, a home cooked meal and many many prayers. It is the most brutal journey to let go of the net, that safety net you have always held them with, sometimes too tightly. But release you must. Fortunately, a new net forms. A mutual net of love, compassion and empathy, understanding and hope. Hope life will be kind to them, their journey perhaps a little less torturous than yours. But there are of course no guarantees. Just when you think all might be lost you see these humans dig deep within, back to the core love you tried to instill, the most important lessons learned and they amaze you. 

Over and over again they amaze you with a firm foundation you prayed would take root. The very best of your hopes manifested. As a Mimi you get to witness their version of this journey. You see the lessons one patiently imparted impact the next generation. And it is the most incredible work of art. A beautiful new portrait being masterfully painted anew. Wonderfully crafted with great love and care, wisdom and grace. 

It is the most incredible blessing. To get to be a part of this is beyond words, inexpressible. The best way this blessing can be expressed is with joy and gratitude. Feelings that are so rooted in your being that they cannot be shaken by circumstance or passing trials. Knowing in your own story Gods grace carried you through the darkness of your own journey. The desperate nights, the worries and fears, he was right there as your safety net. Nothing lasts forever, especially life’s difficulties. Grounded in gratitude and joy we realize “In the tender compassion of our God the dawn from on high shall break upon us, to shine on those who dwell in darkness and the shadow of death, and to guide our feet into the way of peace.” 

 We know this because we have lived it. As a Mimi we know that all will be well.

The Trail

While you can’t always dictate where or when a spiritual encounter might manifest itself, they often come when least expected. Today was no exception to that rule. The past several Thanksgivings my daughter has traveled a few hours south to spend the holiday with her husbands extended family. What I initially thought might be a once in a while event has turned in to a family tradition for them. Initially sad I came to terms seeing the joy they experience being together building family ties and strengthening relationships. My only consolation? I get to babysit my grand dog Finnegan for the weekend.

Not having a pet myself, this is a welcome treat for me, honestly the best way to have a dog. He is my constant companion for these few precious days, always at the ready for a belly rub or a treat, my rosary buddy at night. Even in the harshest of days, rain sleet and cold temperatures, he gets me out, moving in nature when it might not be the first thing on my list. For him, nature calls, figuratively and literally. This fine crisp morning I decided to bundle up and take him on a hike right down the street from our home. I chose, well we both did as I usually let him take the lead, that we would take a path we had never traveled before. Cautious initially due to the recent storms that left quite a few trees down I found there was nothing to fear.

Somehow this pup knew the way along the path that was often times obscured by the fallen leaves of the season. It was curious to watch, wandering here and there, yet always forging ahead on the path. I don’t know how he knew the way. Perhaps his instincts, deep in his ancestral brain? Whatever the case, each twist and turn was correct as we continued past bridges and trail markers. He was an amazing guide and I was grateful. We had the beauty of seeing a buck, which began a stare down until he ran off into the forest. We saw several more deer frolicking in the sunshine. Finn curious, but smart enough to watch from a safe distance. Which brings me to my moment of spiritual insight. Sometimes on the way in life we too travel a new path. Perhaps by choice, but often times not. It is better to travel with a trusted guide. Even if neither of you have gone this way before, a guide somehow knows the way. Perhaps from their ancestral wisdom, or intuitive instinct. It’s been said “Travel alone and you’ll go fast, travel together and you’ll go far.” I guess you have to decide what is more important. Traveling fast deprives the soul of the joy of the journey, the small treasures all around waiting to be ransomed. But going far, with others, others that somehow know the way, that’s the journey of life. Even if sometimes you are the one who knows the way, don’t rob others of the shared experience.

Deep thoughts from a morning hike, but life is a metaphor for life. Begging us to always go deeper. Being grateful for the journey and those on the journey with us whether for a season or a lifetime. Always understanding while our journeys, our paths may not all look the same, we are all travelling home. Back to our loving God, richer and wiser for the road traveled with friends.